Italian

I have finally done my Italian speaking exam. I am so slow at getting scared. In my Italian lesson at 11.20 I finally got scared with my oral in 2h40m. I then when going to the library got coerced into going to a talk by Benedict Allen who is an explorer and is recording some documentary (check it out on the BBC in November as I might be in it for 2 seconds). Anyway, so I had 15 minutes to prepare for my oral during which i think I did a pretty decent job. I walk upstairs to the language corridor having awkward smiles with every single language assistant and then sit down with my role plays and luckily they're easy. I've prepared for them and any unknown questions and memorised them and I sit waiting for the inevitable footsteps of Mr Wood. I'm dragged into the classroom and then it seems like the next second I'm leaving and he's telling me to carry on with my life (whatever that means). The important thing is though that i think I did okay and I have got over my first hurdle. All those doing orals next week, especially German, good luck and try and remember to smile at the teacher as otherwise they'll give you odd looks.

(Post-writing thoughts: that was far too long for just saying that my Italian oral went fine)

My brain (or perhaps lack of it)

There is probably something seriously wrong with me as I have an Italian speaking exam tomorrow and I still haven't taken it in. I also have one week till my first proper exam and yet I spend my evenings procrastinating and reading articles about how to avoid procrastination. The worse thing about this is that I know it is perfectly normal. I have a strange psyche which seems to try and convince me that i am in some way superior because of my failings, what's wrong with me? Why do humans have to be so intelligent and yet at the same time critically flawed? I'm thinking about survival as natural selection only picks the kind of intelligence that will help you have babies (and people wonder why society is what it is today). If man were to realise the complete ineptitude of his situation and the brevity of his life then he would just give in but somehow there is something in us that keeps us going. There are many words for it: hope, belief, religion, optimism, naivety it varies from person to person but most of us know it and experience it. I think the point I'm trying to make is that we are beings who are adapted for survival but we sometimes let that get in the way of some of the phenomenal stuff that we also are. We experience so many different emotions and the world, although it may be filled with unknown grief, also has beacons of joy that make our lives bearable. We must ralley and stay positive during these exams and let ourselves taking pleasure in the simple things around us but we must also keep sight of other people and our futures.

Keep surviving!